I've had an interesting week... people around me have had an interesting week - the world has had an interesting week. I'm a firm believer of karmic debt, but as well, this moon phase is especially altering.
The entire path before me changed Monday morning. And I've found it really hard to connect this week and really hard to complete my Hunter/Harvest Moon Ritual. I spent the last hour or so downloading the incredible words of Brene Brown who studied extensively the cause and effects of Vulnerability, Shame, Blame and Empathy. And I realize that it's exactly what I needed tonight to release, heal and move forward in my new journey. Which is exactly the purpose of most Moon Rituals.
So here's a bit of a story about me... my entire life I have faced every one of those things - Blame, Shame, Vulnerability, and Empathy. I have looked addiction in the eyes, I have been abused by many including those I allowed my heart to love, I have experienced excessive weight gain and excessive weight loss, I have been told to be many things, but who I am and so I created the "perfect" me I could be to fit in. I struggled with this for years. Until the Universe had other plans or perhaps my Spirit Tribe had had enough of seeing me not honouring my true self and things happened. My world began to crumbled. The me I had created began to fall - bad. And I was being pushed out of the very existence I worked so hard to create. But it also forced me to begin a new journey to discover myself again - to go back within my core and reawaken those things that truly made me happy, that truly felt authentic. I began to look deeper and shine light on my shadows, my insecurities and above all Shame, Blame and Vulnerability.
I am telling you this because I practice everything I preach. We continually face dark moments in our lives and it's our inner wisdom, our intuitive knowing as well as faith in our spiritual practice (whatever that may be for you) that can help us get through the most trying of times. And tonight my voice said - be gentle, you don't have to do anything that does not resonate, heal in the way that honours your soul. And so I did. I needed the words of Brene Brown to help me understand that I have learned to LOVE myself by being Vulnerable, I have learned to HEAL myself by understanding that I have NOTHING to be ashamed of, and I unapologetically don't blame myself for anything that may have happened in the past 30 odd years or even past week. I will step into whatever arena I choose and be 100% vulnerable because that is not weakness, that is COURAGE. It is the act of letting ourselves be seen and being honest. So if I walk away from my experience this week and know I am honouring myself vulnerably, then I am living authentically. And if I am living authentically, then I loving everything that I am. All will be well and the Universe will have my back, because that is my faith and what I trust... and let me say this - things... are... happening! :D
Please if you have 20 mins, watch this, especially if it resonates with what you are experiencing right now. I know it can help. I am also here to listen, support and love you for all your vulnerabilities :) I promise you that <3
"If we're going to find our way back to each other, vulnerability is going to be that path. And I know it's seductive to stand outside the arena, cause I think I did it my whole life, and think to myself I'm going to go in there and kick some ass when I'm bullet proof and when I'm perfect. And that is seductive. But the truth is, that never happens. And even if you got as perfect as you could and as bulletproof as you could possibly muster when you got in there, that's not what we want to see. We want you to go in. We want to be with you and across from you. And we just want, for ourselves and the people we care about and the people we work with, to dare greatly." ~ Brene Brown, last few mins of this TedTalk.